Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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