She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
