Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
