wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
