I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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