Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize