They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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