Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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