Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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