Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i think im in europe. pls send help
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