sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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