that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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