we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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