Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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