i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I checked into jail on foursquare
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
