So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize