You don't have asthma, your pregnant
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize