I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
