Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
