remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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