i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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