there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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