dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
