FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
