dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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