Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
