My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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