a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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