Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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