I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
