I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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