just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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