so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
