Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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