sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
