it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
