I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Your dad touched me again.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
