Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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