sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
