Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
