More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
