the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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