carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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