I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
