drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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