I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
