i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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