Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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