oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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