I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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