is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Randomize
