It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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