Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
