what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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