they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
