Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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