he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
