Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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