i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize