I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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