Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
