you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
