They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
