we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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