Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
