and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize