you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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